We had grand plans to fish last weekend. It didn’t happen. For one of us, that is.
Huz, being who he is, has a tendency to build amazing relationships with his coworkers and the people on his team. His job is complicated, but he was (not too long ago) one of the team members and now he is their boss. The relationships have remained. It is one of the qualities I admire most about him, that he can just be with people and they respond to him. He doesn’t force it, he doesn’t necessarily care what they think of him, it just is what it is.
One of his crews is a collection of mismatched older guys. Older. Way older than I feel should be doing they kind of work they do, but they’ve done it all their lives and likely know no other way. One of those gents took a shine to Huz. And, I think Huz took a bit of a shine to him. They are similar in a lot of ways. Not long ago, his wife of at least 40 years became ill. After hospital stays and surgeries and medicines and doctors, they discovered she was catastrophically ill. The docs think they can help her, which is good, but she is over 70. She is his world and he has been quite distant at work since her diagnosis. Huz, being who he is, has worked to coach him where he is. He has been able to reach him where other team members don’t really grasp the impact of this on ev.er.y.thing in his life. To quote Huz, “He’s a human and he doesn’t know what tomorrow looks like anymore.”
That kills me.
So, this man has immersed himself in a lifetime of fishing. I can’t begin to tell you how serious he is about it, but he loves to take Huz out on the lake. Unbeknownst to me, he invited Huz to fish on Saturday and Huz, being a good man and a lover of fishing, said yes.
I’m used to not having a whole lot of time with Huz on weekends, but I have learned how to plan our time out. I can make way for incidental occurrences which alter the plan or the needs of our ADULT CHILDREN (gah!), but once I get my heart set, it’s pretty much set.
When he got home much earlier than I expected, I was in a bit of a way. Yup, I was feeling bratty. I think this is one of those things people don’t tend to convey well to their partners and it manifests as a lot of angry other people just don’t interpret well. I realized our Sunday fishing trip wasn’t going to happen. And then I told him how sad I was about it. I did preface it by telling him there was no way for me to say what I was feeling without coming across as a whiny bitch, but to just give me a minute to fully explain myself. I told him, like I’ve told him before, I can do anything as long as I know how long I have to do it. The face of our household has changed with both the ADULT CHILDREN home, and their sibling rivalry in overdrive. I feel like a referee, Uber driver (remember, neither currently has a car), scheduler (The Son is working in about 20 minutes away in another town and The Daughter now has THREE AND A HALF FUCKING JOBS [thats a good thing. and a bad thing. you feel me?]), chef, personal shopper, personal assistant, porter, servant, maid, and more. I was ok with that when they were kids, but they are now my ADULT CHILDREN and I thought I did a better job with the home training aspects of raising them. I was delusional.
Wow, that was quite the bunny trail . . . Anyway, like I told him, I miss him by the time the weekend comes around, and with all the time I dedicate to all the things and the time he spends getting that damned car of our son’s running, I feel like our weekends (what I live for because I get to be with him) have been almost invisible for six weeks. I told him I needed him and that it wasn’t about spending money or going to breakfast or fishing or anything else, it was just that I needed some dedicated time from him that I didn’t have to share with anyone. He got it. Because Huz gets things. He’s amazing.
And Sunday, we did not go fishing. We did spend the day together and got breakfast and ran errands and avoided (as much as possible) our ADULT CHILDREN because, dude, I need a break.
He said he wants to go to the pier Saturday and spend the day there and do some night fishing, get a room so we don’t have to drive back tired, get up on Sunday and come back for Father’s Day with the ADULT CHILDREN. sigh.
I’m not getting my hopes up. And, I have the only hair appointment I could get this entire month on Saturday. It ain’t cool.